I was talking to a friend recently who has just separated from her husband. She is feeling very sad, partly because she is the one who asked for the separation and partly because she loves her husband but knows the marriage is over.
She told me of how she had known for awhile they shouldn’t be together any longer, but she had fought her feelings in hopes that things would change. When she finally realized she couldn’t hold on any longer, she asked her husband to move out.
As she spoke, the sadness was audible in her voice. From the outside looking in, someone may wonder why she is asking for a separation. He didn’t cheat on her. He’s not abusive to her. He’s a decent guy. He’s been an okay partner to her – they have good memories and good times together.
However, she knows that they were brought together for a time… and that time has come to an end. It’s hard for her to explain why it needs to be over. She just knows it does.
It’s interesting how often women know a relationship should end, but for any number of reasons stay longer than they should. Whether it’s a marriage, a friendship, a job… we all have had times when we didn’t leave when we knew it wasn’t right anymore.
The conversation with my friend has been on my mind a lot. I can’t help but reflect on my own marriage that ended as a disaster. I shared with her I knew it was over years before it officially ended. But I stayed. And things only got worse before it was done. I am very proud of her for following her intuition… for knowing she can still love and honor him without staying in a marriage that is no longer right for either of them.
What relationships are you staying in out of fear, avoidance, lack of energy, low self-esteem or any other number of issues? Is it time to release the attachment – allowing the person to stay in your heart but not in your life? Relationships that aren’t healthy can strip you of life force energy (chi), affect your health and create tremendous stress. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your relationships. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
1. Is this relationships mutually beneficial? Do I give AND receive in a positive way?
2. Does this person make me feel tired, discouraged, angry, frustrated, guilty, shameful when I’m around him or her?
3. Do I find myself dreading taking their phone calls or spending time together?
4. Even though I can’t explain it, do I just feel like this relationship isn’t good for me?
5. Am I staying in this relationship because I feel responsible for their happiness or for taking care of them?
6. If I’m being honest with myself, would I be happier, healthier, more at peace if this person weren’t in my life?
7. Have I been feeling this way for awhile? Do I want to continue feeling this way long-term?
As we work to create positive, healthy, high-vibration lives, we must evaluate the people we associate with. If you find yourself in a relationship that is not serving your higher good or has served its purpose, it’s okay to release yourself and the other person. It’s okay to let go and move on.
Until next time friends,